Crossroads

Angela

"Give me another chance, I'll be better for you. I'll give you anything, I mean, if there anything beyond everything, I'll give you if you just stay with me. I've loved no other but you please don't close the door of your heart towards me. I'll be empty and broken if you go away. I don't even know if I'd be able to love without you..."

That was my very lines when Steven called it quit. I gave him my heart and my body and with that breakup, he almost took my soul along. I feel this hole inside and  I don't know what I can do to fill it up. After Steven, there was Femi, Chinedu and Ahmed. They gave me money, good clothes, bags, shoes, phones... Ahmed even bought me a car but I feel even emptier afterwards as none of those things could make me feel complete. I'm still searching for the right one...

Jacob

I have heard my folks say repeatedly I must not end up like my neighbors children. To me, these guys had it all. They did anything their hearts wanted. They hold a party every weekend in their house that attracts all the prettiest girls in town. I never thought I was missing anything at first as my parents could afford anything I wanted. I have gone to the top ten countries for vacation repeatedly. I'm friends with several senior citizens - Governors, Senators, Ambassadors etc. sons and daughters. We either attend the same schools or we happen to see where we spend the holidays. The ladies tell me I'm a really nice guy but that's pretty much about it. I feel so unwanted and unloved. I'm caught up in the "nice guy's" dilemma and I know I'm done with it. I really want more and I'm searching for the right one.

Angela

I was shortlisted for one of the girls considered to represent my state on campus. They took us to a hotel where the first screening was to be done. I have never been in an aircraft before. It was like what we see in movies; a fleet of SUVs drove into our hostel to take us straight to the airport that evening as we were going with the 8:45pm flight. A girl coming from a very humble background celebrated in this fashion? It was not even a dream come true. How could I even have such dreams when my dad only owns an okada. We only had an opportunity to ride with him once every six months because I had 5 siblings and each get the biking privilege monthly, making it twice a year. After we returned from the first stage where I overall first and got a deal for the national pageant screening; my classmates could barely recognise me. I changed my hostel to a private one outside campus. I did not even pick a single thing from my former room. To me, I was done with that life and nothing was going to take me back there. I first sent N30k to my family. I had earlier told them that I got a job alongside my studies. It was like Christmas came early in July. I can remember the joyful expressions on their faces. I really looked forward to being the one who will sustain that joy in my home. From N30k to N50k then to N100k but by then, I was doing private pageant for those who could afford to pay. My family moved to a new apartment by December of that the same year. It was the best Christmas we had since I became aware of the celebration.

For the first time in 2 years, I did not send any money home. My folks felt so uneasy. It was like they had never experienced not having before now. My mother told me, I couldn't afford to stop and whatever I needed to do to keep the money coming in, I had her permission. Sadly it was just when I decided to be done with that life, mom's pressure won't let me make a clean part as I don't want to be responsible for them to go back to the slum. Who will help me? Can't someone decent just come into my life so all these can change?

2 years after, I was done with my NYSC program when I met Jacob. He told me I was beautiful and that I was his delight. He assured me no one could ever take my place in his heart. Those were the most beautiful, sweet and kind words I heard the 30 years of my life. Could he be the one I've been searching for?

Jacob

I just turned 37 years and my eldest son is 4 years old while the other one is 2 years old. My 5 years old marriage feels like 2 decades. My wife and I have tried to make the experience beautiful and evolving but I feel tired already. I wish I was not known in my church, I would have filed for a divorce. I feel I'm missing something. Maybe I did not choose rightly. I imagine every other lady being better than my wife sometimes. She has become so withdrawn to everyone including me. I've tried to help her deal with her past but it does not last for long. I know I had a part to play looking for love in all the wrong places in abid to belong by all means. It's either I live with it or leave the church. I'll keep low for a while then part ways with her. My attempt to be better for her makes it worse. Maybe we are not good enough for each other as it appears. It's tiring to imagine getting back into the vicious cycle of searching for the right one as against being the right one.

Count Down

Three: I’m not sure about the definition of reality.

I once heard first-born is a synonym for responsibilities but my immediate elder sister is a carefree-goddess. The only world she recognizes is the one in her head. Growing together enabled me to understand the relationship between the sun and the other planet – everything revolves around her.

I also learned last-born kids are often pampered. They get away with anything but I am actually not sure to what extent. I breastfed my immediate younger brother till he was one year old while I was in high school. I had to take up part-time weekend jobs to cater for his basic needs. Tomorrow he turns 7

Two: At what point is water thicker than blood?

We are not fatherless if that’s what you thought. My friend calls her dad superman. I have two dads yet I play the character of wonder woman having to shoulder the responsibilities of my mother. It sometimes appears I am father less.

Step dad offered to take care of my siblings and I. Relief right? I was the only one who accepted his offer. He is soft spoken, generous, devout and easy going. Everytime I hear him say I still love you; I never succeed in holding back my tears. The weight of each drop exceeds the blood of my biological dad.

One: The crossroad when right becomes wrong.

What do I see when I look into the mirror? Strong, independent and bluntly naïve lady who hardly ever breaks a sweat. My reflection is karma.  My life would have passed for a reincarnation but I am alive as well as my loving mother. Initially I could not understand how my uncle could be mother’s brother and her son as well.

Grand dad passed on the eve of my uncle’s 7^th birthday, thanks to my mother. I remember the footnote she added on my 21^st birthday card

…every seven year is an opportunity for perfection, a time to make every wrong, right…

I went over to my biological dad’s place to be the first to wish my brother a happy birthday on the morrow and most importantly to make the right thing wrong unknowing to anyone.

11:58pm, I woke daddy from his deep slumber on the very same couch of my dilema. His eyes opened as though he was going to breathe his last. When I told him I forgave him and like step dad would say in a very gentle tone; and I still love you; tears streaked down his eyes like a baby.

Courage may not always be courageous but I’ve seen how it transformed the heart of a fully formed man and most importantly, me. 

Scented Roses

Growing up as a child, one of the cherished moments was walking home in the evening.

The cool breeze bearing gently the fragrance of the scented flower within our premises

It saturates the street and your nostrils with every step that takes you closer and closer home.

With no words spoken, it oozes tons of unreserved affection to everyone around

No pride nor prejudice – old, young, male, female, dark or light skinned; it’s gracious to all

Varying seasons - Rain, Cold, Dry or Hot, their fragrance is always very reliable.

Thinking about it simply brings a smile to my face even through the years.

Loving without holding back, giving so much when having little or nothing

Your friendship is as a clear as Crystal Sea and refreshing as the desert oasis

You’ve earned the medal to be christened the field of scented roses…

iROAR

From the moment He noticed my first limb movement

I saw the excitement in Father’s eyes as He rejoiced over me

Sooner, I was on trial’s journey taking several strides at dawn

Leaving me at the brink to the other side, He bade me come

Halted by the angry waves, the cloud of night fall became heavy and fell

At the dead of the flood, I heard the lullaby from untamed beasts

My bones rattled yet Father remained calm as still waters

Propelled by my fear I raced towards him across the river

I quivered under his legs but He pushed me out with His paw

He told me to raise my heads like His, as we made our way to the Pride

We kept the same routine for months until He told me to go on my own

I was even too scared to refuse but He told me He will be watching

At the brink of the river, I saw a pack of wolves staring at me

I looked around for Father but He was out of sight

Unaware my fears were actually afraid of me, I scrambled off like a deer

I felt them closing up on me until suddenly, I heard Father roared

They faded like when the wind decides to gatecrash into dusts party

I asked Father how a mere shout brought about their sync with thin air

He said, “The Lion of the Tribe of Judah has prevailed”

Then I realized the scepter cannot depart from my lineage. 

I’m born to rule; not to be ruled. As the Lion’s whelp, 

no one dare arouses me even when lying down. 

I am fearless and so I ROAR.

El-ec-tric-city

Attention! This is high tension, do not be at ease.

Think there is no God?

You just decked the fool’s joker; Joker.

He regarded the high voltage of the world

But disregarded the low current of his soul

Voltage rumors can't kill however this is a current affair

Power outage - the Rich fool’s dilemma.

Flash back! Noah told them to pay their bills

So don’t think it’s stale

Connect to the Spirit’s Transformer

That's your only guarantee to be a transformed man

Think Hell's-a-trick-city? It will shock you.

Not For Sale

Light: This one is not for sale 

So sail, to the yonder

Darkness: But see, he wanders 

Light: That's why I'm awesome wonder

So ponder longer, he's coming out stronger 

 Me: Permission for trial was granted

I took his mission for granted 

Hunted; by the cravings of my flesh

Lusted; my eyes was off the price

Busted; my pride got me arrested 

"Go to Jail", sin decided my fate

but not my faith

Like the poor man, I cried and the Lord heard me

and delivered me from all my troubles 

 This is too much a price 

Making me His prize

His death was done

My debts forgone

Salvation victory's won

Scarlet Robe

Royal shame! Oxymoron's ego couldn't have been 

better massaged at that instant.

Selfie's shutter clicked; capturing the: thorny crown, 

staff and scarlet robe adorning his ripped flesh.

Picture was not saved in the Hosanna folder but that 

of Scorn; hash tagged - King of the Jews.

They staged the mock, led Golgotha's walk and executed 

the one mocked with the scarlet robe.

Torn curtains, broken tombs, the dead rose even the earth quaked 

at the very moment he yielded his spirit.

Witnessing the precedent of things that surpasses that of all kings, 

they became terrified and testified...

"Surely he was the son of God!"

Recruited by execution into the heavenly army, he led captivity captive, 

alive in the grave his death brought us life.

"Surely he wasn't just the son of God, He is the son of God"